This post is all about hard questions to ask your significant other about the future.
If your relationship is getting serious and you think an engagement might be in your future, you should first discuss these make-or-break relationship topics with your partner. Talking about your future with your partner will make sure you’re on the same page and opens the door for some deep conversations.
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1. What do you want long term for our relationship?
Knowing what your significant other wants long term for your relationship is critical when you’re talking about the future. If one of you wants to get married but the other doesn’t, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. Maybe your S.O. just doesn’t know what they want yet. Or maybe they want to spend the rest of their life with you! You’ll never know until you sit down and get the deets.
2. Do you have an ideal timeline for getting married?
Knowing your significant other’s ideal timeline for getting married is really beneficial when you’re trying to picture a future together. You don’t have to put too much pressure on the exact timeline, but you want to get a general idea. Like, do they want to get married within the next five years? If not, when do they want to be married? Do they even have a timeline? These are things you want to know!
{Related Post: Why Your Boyfriend Won’t Propose: 9 Realistic Reasons}
3. Do you believe in traditional gender roles?
If you don’t live together yet, you haven’t really had to figure out how traditional gender roles may affect your relationship. Sure you probably have an idea of how you think you’ll split chores when you’re living together, but it may not be what actually happens. Especially when you buy a house together and all of a sudden you introduce a whole new category of responsibility… outdoor chores.
I always thought I was anti-traditional-gender-roles, and still am to an extent, but I will cook dinner over mowing the yard any day. It all comes down to personal preference and figuring out what areas you will each take the lead on.
4. Do you want to have kids?
One of the most important questions to ask your partner when talking about the future is to ask whether or not they want to have kids. So many couples make the mistake of not discussing this until they’re already engaged which just boggles my mind. How can you leave something so important till the last minute?! Deciding whether or not you want to have kids is a major decision and for some couples, it will make or break their relationship.
5. How important is family to you?
If family is really important to you, you’ll want to ask whether or not family is just as important to your partner. Maybe you have family traditions with your parents and siblings that you don’t want to let go of. Or instead of traveling the world, you feel like you need to use your vacation time to visit your family. Maybe you want to live in the same town as your family for the rest of your life! Aligning on these topics early is important for the longevity of your relationship.
6. Is religion important to you?
If religion is important to you, you’ll want to ask if religion is important to your significant other. If it isn’t important to you, it’s still a good idea to understand your partner’s views on religion. A few topics to consider are what kind of church you go to, how often you go to church, and if you’ll want your kids to go to church.
7. What are your financial goals?
Finances have a huge impact on what your future with your significant other may look like, so it’s always good to ask what their financial goals are. Do they have a career that can financially support your future? Do they have any debt? How much savings do they have? Although these are really personal questions to ask your partner, if you’re considering a future with someone, you can’t ignore the impact finances will have on your future together.
8. What’s your philosophy on divorce?
This can be kind of awkward to talk about, but it’s healthy to understand what your partner’s philosophy on divorce is. Obviously you don’t want to go into a marriage with the intention of getting divorced later on, but god forbid something terrible happens, is divorce on the table? What are the circumstances that they would consider divorce the only solution? Would having kids impact their decision?
Before my fiance and I got engaged, we agreed that the only way divorce would ever be considered is if someone cheated, the relationship became abusive, or if our marriage was negatively impacting our kids’ mental health. So aside from a few unlikely scenarios, we decided it isn’t an option for us and that we will work through anything our future throws at us!
9. Would you go to couples therapy?
Knowing if your partner would go to couples therapy before you need couples therapy will give you the confidence that they’re willing to work through the hard times with you. Even if you never need to go to couples therapy, it’s good to know that your significant other would willing to go if you needed to.
Conclusion
Bringing up these hard questions to ask your partner about the future is a major green flag for your relationship. Being able to have these difficult conversations shows that your communication skills are right where they need to be. So before you even think about getting married, don’t forget to talk about what that marriage would look like with your S.O.
This post was all about questions to ask your significant other about the future.
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