This post is all about why your boyfriend won’t propose.
Honestly, I’ve always hated the saying “if he wanted to he would” because for one, it makes you feel like sh*t if he’s not living up to your expectations, and two, it’s not always true. For those of us who don’t live in a fantasy world, the timing and cost of an engagement are huge factors your man will have to consider.
Now there are always exceptions to every rule. One of my best friends is about to get engaged to a guy she’s known for four months. Is this crazy? Kind of. But sometimes you meet someone, and the timing is right, there aren’t financial complications, and it just works out. (I’ve also known her soon-to-be fiance for a long time, and our families are friends, so maybe I’m just the best matchmaker ever who knows 😉 ).
But if you’re not in the lucky position my friend has found herself, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re in the majority. So let’s dive into some realistic reasons why your boyfriend won’t propose.
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Common Reasons He Hasn’t Proposed
First, let’s go over the most common reasons he hasn’t proposed. Instead of jumping to conclusions, freaking out, or accusing your man of anything, let’s just start with these basic scenarios. And remember, a proposal is a huge step in a relationship. Your boyfriend shouldn’t take it lightly!
1. The timing isn’t right
Feeling that the timing isn’t right is a really common reason that men take so long to propose. And of course, this can feel or seem like a cop-out. But timing does have a big impact on when he chooses to propose. Maybe he wants to live together before proposing, or he wants to propose on a trip, or he still hasn’t met your parents. If you’re curious about when he pictures getting married, just ask!
2. He’s still saving up
Rings are not cheap so don’t blame your boyfriend if he’s still saving up to afford your dream ring. But depending on how long it’s taking him to save up, you might want to ask yourself some questions. Is my boyfriend not able to afford a ring because he’s not financially responsible? Or Do we need to reevaluate the budget for my engagement ring?
3. He just started his career
Entering the adult world comes with a lot of unfamiliar territory, and if he just started his career, he may want to get two feet on the floor before he pops the question. Finding your footing at a new job takes most people at least six months to really get in the groove. Plus, men don’t multitask as well as women do. So if he’s starting a new job or just entering the workforce, ease up on him a bit!
Practical Reasons He Hasn’t Proposed
Getting engaged is a serious step in your relationship, so don’t brush off these practical reasons he hasn’t proposed. You might be ready to get married tomorrow, but in general, women start to think about marriage at a much younger age than men do. So while the “if he wanted to he would” holds some truth, you do have to factor in reality.
4. You’re still too young
While you might think you’re ready to get engaged and start your life together, your boyfriend might think you’re still too young to get married. And you might be too young! I know it’s so easy to get caught up in the idea that there’s a timeline you’re supposed to follow to “stay on track”.
When I was in I remember in college thinking I was ready to get engaged. Now I look back and realize how young we were. There’s truly no need to rush it. You’ll have the rest of your life together 😉 .
5. He feels pressured to propose
If you’ve been asking him every other week when he’s going to pop the question, I can guarantee that he feels pressured to propose. And when men feel pressured to do something, they tend to pull back and take even longer to do it.
So if you’ve been asking your boyfriend over and over why he won’t propose yet, you might unintentionally push him away. At times in your relationship, the fact that he hasn’t proposed can even cause you to feel insecure about your connection. But if your man has said that he’s going to propose and it hasn’t happened yet, don’t pressure him and just trust the process. Always easier said than done.
6. He isn’t sure about his future
It’s okay if he isn’t sure about his future in terms of career, where he wants to live, etc. But if he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his future, it likely means he won’t be proposing until he gets more of his life figured out. While you don’t need to have everything planned out before you get married, it’s important to establish who you are as an individual before you commit your life to another person.
{Related Post: 9 Hard Questions To Ask Your Significant Other About The Future}
Brutal Reasons He Hasn’t Proposed
Last but not least, here are a few brutal reasons why your boyfriend hasn’t proposed. While these aren’t fun to consider, it’s important to consider them as a possibility and evaluate whether you think they might be true. If you are concerned about any of these hard truths to swallow, sit your boyfriend down and talk about it like adults. After all, you want to get married, right?
7. He’s not sure about marrying you
Let’s get the worst one over with first, if he hasn’t proposed after years of being together it could be that he’s not sure about marrying you. And although marriage is a huge step, I don’t think it takes that long to figure out if you want to marry someone.
That said, there’s a difference between knowing you want to marry someone (and waiting to propose) and dating someone with no intention of getting married. If you know you want to marry each other but you’re too young or the timing isn’t right or some other reason, you don’t need to be concerned.
But if you’ve been together for years and he still can’t picture a life with you… what’s the point of staying together? Sometimes we love someone but it doesn’t mean you’re going to spend your life with them. It’s worth figuring out sooner rather than later why your boyfriend won’t propose.
8. He doesn’t care about getting married
It’s also possible that he doesn’t care about getting married, which means that a proposal is nowhere on his radar. While you’ve practically been thinking about the whole time you’ve been dating, do you know if he even wants to get married? He could be totally against the idea of marriage or he might only get married because you say you want to.
You have to decide if that’s okay with you or if you want someone who wants to marry you. While there’s nothing wrong with being life partners and not getting married, if marriage is your end goal, just make sure to be on the same page about it.
9. His family isn’t on board
Could it be that his family isn’t on board? Or is your family causing issues in your relationship? Most people want to marry someone who gets along with their family and that their family loves. If you don’t get along with his family, it could even be a deal breaker for the relationship. Not everyone cares whether they have both family’s approval to get engaged, but if your boyfriend does, you should make sure that it’s not getting in the way.
Conclusion
Hopefully now you feel a bit more prepared to discuss why your boyfriend won’t propose. Remember that every relationship, and every man, is different. The reason one boyfriend hasn’t proposed can be totally different from why yours hasn’t.
This post was all about why your boyfriend won’t propose.
Other posts you may like:
- 9 Hard Questions To Ask Your Significant Other About The Future
- Why Is My Boyfriend Always On His Phone? And What To Do
- 43 Serious Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend About His Past