In an LDR, you never hope to find yourself checking for the common signs of cheating in a long distance relationship. But if you do start to feel like something is going on, it’s better to figure it out sooner rather than later. This post is all about signs of cheating in a long distance relationship.
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Find the full disclosure here.
Signs Of Cheating In A Long Distance Relationship
The first thing to do if your man is acting sketchy is to look for these signs of cheating in a long distance relationship. These aren’t all of the signs of cheating in an LDR, but they’re some of the first signs of cheating. At the very least, these are some major long distance relationship red flags. It’ll also help you know if he wants to end the relationship.
He Doesn’t Share Details
A huge part of a long distance relationship is communication, so if he doesn’t share details of his day with you anymore, it’ll probably seem suspicious. Of course, you shouldn’t expect your boyfriend to tell you where he is and who he’s with every second of every day, but you should know enough to not feel like he has a double life.
If your boyfriend just moved somewhere new, he should be making new friends. But often times when a guy starts cheating, you’ll notice that he starts hanging out with new “friends” and he won’t tell you about them. It’s more about the secrecy and vagueness that’s a long distance relationship cheating sign than just making new friends.
He’ll Only Visit You
Long distance relationships are all about give and take, but if he’ll only visit you, you might want to question why that is. If you don’t have a car to go visit him, that’s one thing. But if it’s because he has a side piece he doesn’t want you to run into in his city, that’s something you need to find out about.
Your boyfriend should want you to come visit him so you can make memories together in his city. So if you get the vibe that his friends don’t even know he has a girlfriend… that’s a major red flag. Because it could mean that he’s trying to get with other girls when he goes out with his friends.
He’s Not Affectionate
One of the most exciting parts of a long distance relationship is the intimacy that you experience when you’re reunited with your boyfriend, so when he’s not affectionate when you finally see him, it really sucks. Your boyfriend should want to attack you with kisses when he sees you! Even when you’re not together, he should want to find alternatives to physical intimacy.
When this doesn’t happen, your heart will drop and you’ll immediately wonder what’s wrong. And if he doesn’t want to have sex during your visit, it may mean his needs are getting met somewhere else. Seriously, what guy in an LDR doesn’t want to be physical when you finally see each other?
Some guys also try to overcompensate when they’re cheating to cover up that they’re cheating. This can be trickier to spot in an LDR since things are probably already pretty hot and heavy, but if he suddenly wants to experiment with things that are way out of your comfort zone, it could be a sign he’s cheating.
What To Do When You Suspect Your Long Distance Boyfriend Is Cheating?
Figuring out what to do when you suspect your long distance boyfriend is cheating is one of the most conflicting scenarios there is. You don’t know for sure that he’s cheating, but you think he is. Here’s what to do if you’re questioning his loyalty.
Turn To Your Friends
The first thing you need to do is turn to your friends and rely on your support system. If you have a good relationship with your family, you can also reach out to them for advice. Your friends might be able to help you look for red flags if you’re worried about checking his loyalty on your own. Plus, your girlfriends are going to be the best detectives out there.
Friends and family will be able to comfort you and might even know something you don’t. If your friends already knew that your boyfriend cheated on you, don’t blame them for not telling you. It can be a really difficult position to be in as a friend. Although, if you’re the friend in the situation, you should definitely speak up if you know the boyfriend is cheating!
Set Time To Talk
Once you’ve taken time to think through everything with your trusted support system, set time to talk with your boyfriend. Unfortunately, cheaters don’t tend to be the most honest people, so you’re probably worried about whether they’d even admit to cheating in a long distance relationship. But hopefully you know your boyfriend well enough that you could spot something fishy going on even over text.
Before you talk, you should write down everything you want to say so that you’ve at least thought through what you’d like to say. Even if you don’t get all your points across (you’re not reading a script) you’ll feel more in control of the conversation if you prepare for it. It’s important to know what outcome you’re looking for ahead of time so you can have a goal for the conversation.
This conversation will likely be emotional, obviously, but try to stick to the facts that have led you to confront your BF about cheating. It’s going to be hard, but to get honest answers, a safe space needs to be created without accusing each other. Why shouldn’t you accuse the person that you suspect cheated on you? I know. But if you want to understand why they cheated, it has to be more than just yelling at them and telling them what they did wrong.
What To Do When You Find Out Your Boyfriend Is Cheating?
If it turns out that your long distance boyfriend did in fact cheat, now it’s time to decide what to do when you find out your boyfriend is cheating. There’s no right or wrong decision, it’s just what’s best for you and your relationship. But you do need to give yourself time and take time to reevaluate the relationship.
Even if it turns out that your boyfriend didn’t cheat on you, it’s clear that you feel disconnected from your partner and your relationship, which still means something needs to change!
Give Yourself Time
LDR cheating is the worst, so when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you, you need to give yourself time to process and to practice some self-care. You might even need to take a break from talking to your boyfriend for a few days until you can begin to think straight again.
There’s no rule to determine how much time you’ll need to give yourself until you’re ready to talk to your boyfriend again. There’s also nothing to say you have to talk to him ever again! You can literally just cut him off and move on. If you don’t want any further explanation or to reevaluate the relationship, you can block his number and never have to hear from him again.
Reevaluate The Relationship
The next step when you find out your boyfriend is cheating is to reevaluate the relationship as a whole. If you decide that it’s a dealbreaker, then there’s not much more to it. But if you’re boyfriend cheats on you and you still love him, it can be really tough to decide what to do next.
It’s important to figure out why he cheated in the first place. Is something missing in the relationship? Is long distance just not working out? Can the relationship be repaired? Most of the time, cheating is a reaction to something bigger going on. It’s never the right reaction, but there aren’t a ton of people who cheat just for the fun of it. Don’t feel guilty if you want to stay together and try to work things out. But if it happens again, you better cut him loose.
This post was all about common signs of cheating in a long distance relationship.
Other posts you may like:
- Warning Signs An Introvert Wants To Break Up You Should Know
- 11 Obvious Signs You’re Emotionally Cheating On Your Boyfriend
- How To Check A Guy’s Loyalty In A Long Distance Relationship
- Why Is My Boyfriend Always On His Phone?
Leave a Reply